Olds: "200,000 people apply to live on Mars"

This news item is so two thousand and late. Well, actually it's from December last year. When I was reading the previous article on that crystal, this one showed up and I remembered how stunned I had felt last year hearing about these crazy people.

Wanna go golfing on Mars?

A Dutch company will organise a trip for 4 people to planet Mars. A one-way trip. 

The technology for a return flight doesn't exist -- there's no Kennedy Space Center launch pad over there! -- and having a one-way trip greatly reduces costs, the company has said.

It greatly reduces costs, there you have it. 

A previous unmanned Mars mission is slated for 2018. This way, the company in charge wants to demonstrate the possibility of living on Mars. One of the experiments they will conduct to assure that condition will be, for example, the synthesis of liquid water on Mars, obviously an indispensable requirement for humans to survive. If everything goes right with the experiments and they manage to fund the project, 2025 is a ballpark estimation for the date of the actual trip. The way they plan to resolve the financial aspect is quite interesting, though. They will hold some kind of Big Brother show, a live stream from Mars, so we can know if Britney did weird things with an alien during night and that kind of stuff. The objective is to send more new people to the lander every two years. That is a good idea, I think, because hanging around the rest of your life with the same 3 people you didn't choose initially as your friends, no, you're rather forced to live by their side. AND THAT ON MARS. On the other side... If you're volunteering for going to Mars for the rest of your life... I guess there must be a very few things that you actually fear o can't adapt to.

And that's the point that I wanted to reach... Who are those 200,000 people that want to go to Mars for the rest of their life? I saw a report on TV when the news was still, well, "new" and I can tell you: all kinds of people. Some of them are quite young and they're just looking for a literally pioneering adventure, others are older ones or people suffering from certain diseases that reduce their life expectancy and they simply want to make something special of the last years they still have. And honestly - whatever your reasons you have to be like REALLY crazy to subscribe on that mission - I do respect those people. A lot. Because I would never be able to leave my life on Earth behind... forever. 

In addition to that, I think this mission provides a huge leeway for learning more about Mars. The rest of your life is probably enough time to do a lot of stuff up there. If they really end up mounting the journey, which I hope, I will be one of the enthusiastic followers of the stream and the data we'll receive from there.

So... As you can see, I seem to be a lot into spacy things lately. Spacy as in space, not as in Kevin Spacey... Ugh, I mean, he's a good actor and everything but... ugh.

Back to the topic... I'm beginning to consider seriously if I would like to travel out to space one day... That would be one major goal to achieve... And definitely not an easy one.

But don't worry, I know you'd miss me, so I wouldn't go one-way ;3

I was looking for pictures related to "Mars"... That's the best I could find

And, eventually, the highlight of every news post, the reason you're reading my blog, what am I saying, THE REASON WHY'RE YOU'RE ALIVE: the vocabulary.

ballpark

to be slated for

leeway

News: "4.4 billion-year-old crystal is oldest piece of Earth"

I always say that I won't complain about my age once I get older. Basically because I'm annoyed by people that, at their late or even mid-twenties, keep saying that they're already old... If it makes you feel better, you haven't even lived a billionth of the time that the Earth already exists. I'm sure that fact is a great help. Sure.

Click here to buy your own 4.4 billion-year-old crystal!

The Earth is believed to be about 4.5 billion years old, or more accurately, at least 4.5 billion years old. So that crystal is quite close, huh? How do scientists know about the minimum age of our planet, though? It's as simple as that: they discovered rocks that could be proven to be at least that old. And once again: how do they tease out that kind of information?

The standard process geologists apply is analising the amount of specific uranium isotopes. You probably know uranium because of their use in nuclear reactors in power plants. An isotope is nothing but one possible "type" of a specific element, in that case uranium. An element is defined by the number of protons its atoms contain, but the number of neutrons is variable. Depending on the number of neutrons we talk about different isotopes, for example U-235 or U-238, "U" being the symbol of uranium. Some isotopes are unstable and decay. That is what we know by radioactivity. And now there comes the clue: every isotope has a characteristic life span, scientists refer to this with the concept of "half life". The function that describes the amount of decayed isotopes over time isn't linear but has a curvy form. The half life of a certain isotope is defined as the time it takes for exactly 50% of the quantity of that isotope in question to decay. In other words, let's say the half life of U-235 was a year. If you have 10 grams of U-235, in one year, there would be only 5 grams left, which means a loss of 5 grams. Once another year will have passed, the leftovers would weigh 2.5 grams, a loss of 2.5 grams. Three years from now you'd have 1.25 grams and so on. As you can see, the amount of U-235 you lose isn't a constant number. It's always the half of your previous weight of isotopes, thus not linear. By doing several calculations, we can determine the age of a rock by analysing the amount of an isotope it still contains, implying its half life.

The technique that allowed them to find out the age of this particular crystal, an atom-probe tomograhpy, was a little more complex since it also considers the possible migration of the studied element, in that case lead instead of uranium. Nonetheless, the basic idea is the same. Curious enough is the fact that the biggest dimension between the crystal pieces they discovered was only 400 micrometers in length, which equals 0.4 millimeters. That is just a tad larger than a house dust mite or more a less 4 human hairs.

Finally, I think it's quite interesting to point out that most rocks that were studied in processes like the one I explained earlier aren't even from Earth, which is why the title reads "oldest piece of Earth" (the crystal the article talks about was actually a part of the Earth). According to this website, the "best" prove we have of the minimum age of the Earth was deduced by measuring the lead ratio in iron meteorites. Also, moon rocks have been a great help, too. By the way, did you know that the moon was in fact a part of the Earth? One day, more or less at the very "earliest time" we know for sure the Earth already existed (the 4.5 billion years I mentioned at the beginning of this post), a meteorite with a similar size like Mars crashed into the Earth. The impact projected huge pieces of the Earth a long distance away from the planet's center. Gravitional force was responsible for those pieces to concentrate, until finally shaping the moon as we know it today. I wonder if all moons of every planet in our solar system have been "born" like this. I should do some research.

Talking about "the elder ones"

Don't expect me to write a funny sentence to introduce you the new words. I said I'm busy doing research!

tad
tease out
mite

News: "Facebook to buy messaging app WhatsApp for $19bn"

I must admit that there were actually no new words for me in this piece of news and yeah, I agree that it would be ridiculous to pretend there were some by putting basic vocabulary on here...

Having said that, please, proceed quickly. Facebook might buy my blog before you finish reading this post. And if Facebook buys it, it can only get worse. #antihipstermainstreampositioning #instairony

Click here to "Like" this post

Well, I guess everyone has already heard about that. Facebook bought Whatsapp for... peanuts, just some 19 billion US dollars... That was probably Mark Zuckerberg's toilet paper.

One of the WhatsApp co-founders will work together with Facebook and apperently they are quite excited about their upcoming cooperation.

I don't know. Personally, I've never been a big fan of Facebook. Actually, I'm not really into social media at all. Don't get me wrong, I think the technological advances in the field of communication are amazing and the possibilities they grant us are extremely valuable and deserve respect. But. People overdo things. People get too excited about things. People put more life into social media than into their lives. And what's worst: social pressure urges you to do the same. 

For example, I've noticed that, sometimes, I'm not in the mood to talk to people on WhatsApp but even though I answer. The thing is, once I connect into the app, I have to answer all the messages because if not, people begin to have existential crisis: they think I ignore them, that I don't recognise them as people anymore or whatever. And you know what? When somebody has gone online without responding me, I REACT EXACTLY THE SAME. And it scares me because I perfectly know it's absurd. But I just can't help feeling that way. It's creepy. I don't like it.

Then Facebook... I mean, it's basic function is to inform and get informed about anything people you're supposed to know do, right? Well, I don't care for 99,999999999% of the rubbish these people post on Facebook. Of course I do have an interest to hear about my close friends' experiencies and how they feel about it and blablabla. But do I need/want to hear that stuff from EVERYONE IN MY SCHOOL? Definitely not. Then some smartasses come along and say that they don't care for those people either. And then you have a look at their profiles and see that they've got 1046 friends. By the mercy of God, what is the point of it? You invest time in something you're not even really interested in.

WhatsApp at least is quite functional since it allows you to talk easily to people and that's all. No additional decoration or futile extras. Although I believe that many users rely too much on WhatsApp without realising. To them, WhatsApp is the first way of communication BEFORE face-to-face talking...

And now Facebook comes around the corner and, after doing the same with Instagram, they go and buy WhatsApp. Because why not. I don't really see how a collaboration between Facebook and WhatsApp can give birth to any good new features. The worst case scenario would be a link between your FB and your WA account. Because if that happened, WhatsApp would be dead as we know it currently and as I relatively appreciate it right now.

Did you know Facebook also wanted to buy Snapchat?

At least HE should be happy, I guess...

News: "NASA discovers 715 new planets"

They didn't just kill two birds with one stone, no no no... They freaking discovered 715 new planets with one single space observatory! These NASA guys, never disappointing ;)

Click here and you might discover planet number 716. Or the original article. Yeah, that sounds likely.

In 2009, NASA launched the Kepler space observatory with the specific objective to find planets similar to the Earth, that is to say, planets that are located in a habitable zone. In this context, a habitable zone refers to a planet that is at the right distance from its sun, the central star of its galaxy, so that the temperature conditions on the planet enable the existence of liquid water, the basic substance for life, as we know it on Earth, to subsist.

Until recently, we had accumulated data about approximately 1000 planets altogether. This Wednesday NASA announced the discovery of seven hundred fifteen new planets. At once. Quite a lucky day I guess, hitting the jackpot, finding the intergalactical mother lode.

4 of the planets among that long list are possible candidates for hosting life. All of them have a similar size, more or less twice the Earth's size. This is no coincidence, though. NASA tried a new way of planet researching using the technique of verification by multiplicity which, as we know now, opened the bottleneck. Basically that means two things. First, they took advantage of the laws of probability by focusing on stars that are likely to have a higher number of planets travelling around them in their respective orbits. So, more planets equals a better chance of finding a planet of interest. Second, once they found a planet that verified the desired conditions, they used the data to reveal other planets that are alike. Initially the technique is biased on planets close to the star in the center of the galaxy in question, afterwards it "opens its mind" to other planets orbiting with bigger radii (well, to be accurate, the orbits are elliptic and not perfect circles and thus, technically, I shouldn't use the word "radius"... But anyway, you know what I mean).

I must say that I do believe that life exists at another place in the universe besides from the Earth. The universe is just too big and I think it's absurd that intelligent life, able to comprehend the nature that originated it, has only formed at one exclusive place. Just imagine a III World War takes place and the human race extinguishes itself. Then what? It's like that example of the tree that falls in a solitary forest. If there's no one in the wood, does the tree make noise falling? No, because there's no one hearing it. The only thing the tree does is causing vibrations in the air that originate what we call soundwaves, merely a physical process. So if the universe keeps expanding, physical processes keep ocurring but there's no intelligent life to reflect about it anymore... Then what's the point? Wouldn't it be completely senseless?

Oh and I think I'm starting to fancy a trip to the moon. Or another celestial body if science will have progressed enough until I'm ready to do it, which I highly doubt. I don't know, just imagine being out there, in the space... Looking at your home planet from such a long distance. I'm sure it completely changes your conception of life. One day guys, either I become an astronaut or insolently rich, it's really that easy.

g/6

Aliens taught me 3 new words. Quick, have a look at the definition (now the English definition and not just the egoistic German traduction!!!) before the Men in Black come and erase my memory!

bottleneck

lode

biased

Is this the real life...?

Song time! I worked too much for the last post. I need to regain that time...

So this term's song is a classic one and, in my opinion, a masterpiece. It's like a whole musical summed up in one bombastic song. It's Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen:

Is this the real life? / Ist dies das reale Leben?

Is this just fantasy? / Ist dies nur Fantasie?

Caught in a landslide / Gefangen in einem Erdrutsch

No escape from reality / Kein Entkommen vor der Realität

Open your eyes / Öffne deine Augen

Look up to the skies and see / Schau in die Himmel und sieh

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy / Ich bin nur ein armer Junge, ich brauche kein Mitgefühl

Because I'm easy come, easy go / Denn wie gewonnen, so zerronnen

Little high, little low / Ein wenig hoch, ein wenig tief

Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me / Wie auch immer, der Wind weht; es kümmert mich nicht, mich nicht

Mama... just killed a man / Mama... hat gerade einen Mann getötet

Put a gun against his head / Hielt eine Pistole an seinen Kopf

Pulled my trigger, now he's dead / Betätigte meinen Abzug, nun ist er tot

Mama... life had just begun / Mama... das Leben hatte erst begonnen

But now I've gone and thrown it all away / Aber nun bin ich gegangen und habe alles weggeworfen

Mama... oooooooh / Mama... oooooooh

Didn't mean to make you cry / Wollte dich nicht zum Weinen bringen

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow /Falls ich morgen nicht zu dieser Zeit zurück bin

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters / Mach weiter, mach weiter als ob nichts wirklich wichtig wär

Too late, my time has come / Zu spät, meine Zeit ist gekommen

Sends shivers down my spine / Es läuft mir kalt den Rücken runter

Body's aching all the time / Der Körper schmerzt die ganze Zeit

Goodbye everybody, I've got to go / Auf Wiedersehen ihr alle, ich muss gehen

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth / Muss euch alle hinter mich lassen und mich der Wahrheit stellen

Mama... oooooooh (anyway the wind blows) / Mama... oooooooh (wie auch immer, der Wind weht)

I don't wanna die / Ich will nicht sterben

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all / Ich wünsche mir manchmal ich wär gar nicht erst geboren worden

I see a little silhouetto of a man / Ich sehe eine kleine "Silhouetto" eines Mannes

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? / Scaramouche, Scaramouche, wirst du den Fandango machen?

Thunderbolt and lightning / Donnerkeil und Blitz

Very, very frightening me / Erschrecken mich sehr doll

(Galileo) Galileo / (Galileo) Galileo

(Galileo) Galileo / (Galileo) Galileo

Galileo Figaro / Galileo Figaro

Magnificooo / Magnificooo

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me / Ich bin nur ein armer Junger, niemand liebt mich

He's just a poor boy from a poor family / Er ist nur einer armer Junger aus einer armen Familie

Spare him his life from this monstrosity / Verschont ihm sein Leben von dieser Monstrosität

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? / Wie gewonnen, so zerronnen, werdet ihr mich gehen lassen?

Bismillah! No, we will not let you go. (Let him go!) / Bismillah! Nein, wir werden dich nicht gehen lassen. (Lasst ihn gehen!)

Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let him go!) / Bismillah! Wir werden dich nicht gehen lassen. (Lasst ihn gehen!)

Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let me go!) / Bismillah! Wir werden dich nicht gehen lassen. (Lasst mich gehen!)

Will not let you go. (Let me go!) / Werden dich nicht gehen lassen. (Lasst mich gehen!)

Never, never let you go / Dich nie nie gehen lassen

Never let me go, oh  / Mich nie gehen lassen, oh

No, no, no, no, no, no, no / Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein

Oh, mamma mia, mamma mia (Mamma mia, let me go) / Oh mamma mia, mamma mia (Mamma mia, lasst mich gehen)

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me / Beelzebub hat einen Teufel für mich aufgehoben, für mich, für mich

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? / Ihr denkt also ihr könnt mich steinigen und in mein Auge spucken?

So you think you can love me and leave me to die? / Ihr denkt also ihr könnt mich lieben und mich sterben lassen?

Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby / Oh, baby, könnt mir dies nicht antun, baby

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here. / Muss nur raus, muss nur von hier raus

(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah) / (Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)

Nothing really matters / Nichts ist wirklich wichtig

Anyone can see / Jeder kann es sehen

Nothing really matters / Nichts ist wirklich wichtig

Nothing really matters to me / Nichts ist wirklich wichtig für mich

Anyway the wind blows / Wie auch immer, der Wind weht

  

Of course you might interpret the lyrics in a different way... Everybody has to find the meaning that fits most for them. This is another... quite distinct example:

Deep stuff, man...

And this was the last yoursay post also known as "posts-where-I-don't-need-to-find-a-fitting-piece-of-news-as-an-excuse-to-write-about-what-I-wanted-to-write-about-anyway". I hope you enjoyed the... let's call it "special content" this time and look forward to very, very exciting news and tasks... Uuuuooooh!

Catherine

If anyone decides to read my blog, as a consequence of a divine chain of causality or something, for first time this term... I'm afraid it will also be the last time. Maybe they won't even talk to me again. Or dare to look me in the eyes. My topics are a little psycho this time. 

Tonight's post is going to be quite an exception. It's something very unusual for my blog. You would never expect me to write about that. Naaah, it's not a book. It's a game...

A GAME I HAVEN'T PLAYED BY MYSELF!!!!!!!11111oneoneeleven :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Must... resist... posting... more... Koala... pics...

ARRRRGHICANTITSTOOADORABLE!!!!!!!!!! Lol, wait... ARRRRGHICANTITSTOOADORABLE!!!!!!!!!! hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi, my mind is at the level of an 8-years-old........ :S

I simply love koalas. You remember that "An animal in me" post we did a loooooong time ago? To be accurate, it was the very first post I did on this blog, almost 3 years ago. The crazy German has evolved a lot in that time. He's not that German anymore. Probably even crazier though. But one thing hasn't changed: He loves koalas. And now he speaks of himself in third person, whatever be the reason.

Well, before I get too nostalgic, let me talk about the game, which was the initial idea...

Alright, so as I told you, I haven't played this game by myself. I've been following the walktrough videos by a famous Spanish youtuber called "ElRubius", I'll get onto that Youtube thing in another post... What's important now is the game itself. It's called "Catherine" and it's a puzzle-platformer adventure game putting emphasis on its story. Actually, the story makes the game. Maybe you've already noticed, after reading millions, no BILLIONS of my posts, that I'm especially interested in games with gripping stories. To be honest, this is the one and only reason that I still haven't given up the hope that, one day, I might become an enthusiastic reader.

The game focuses on Vincent, a young man, probably in his mid-twenties, who has been in a relationship with Katherine (yes, spelled with a "K"; you'll get the importance of this in a minute) for 5 years. She starts pressuring him that they should seriously consider to marry. Vincent isn't overly excited about the idea and that night he gets drunk, like really drunk, like REALLY drunk, like me on carnival, and after hanging around with his buddies in a bar, he stays there for a while his friends are already gone. And then, Catherine (spelled with "C", in other words: another woman) enters the bar. Catherine is a really attractive woman, like really attractive, like REALLY attractive, like me on carniv... wait, that's wrong. Anyway, she's hot, okay? 

And as if Vincent's situation wasn't already tricky enough, Catherine decides to sit right next to Vincent. With all the other seats being empty. The "salseo" is bound to occur.

This is Catherine... If someone's still in need of a suggestion for this year's carnival disguise, I'm your man. Oh, with "someone", I mean a girl. No, not you, Mr. Diez (I wish he would read this)

If you put one and one together it's pretty obvious what ends up happening: Vincent and Catherine spend the night together. Playing ludo (parchís), you know?

What's worst: Poor Vincent was so drunk, he didn't really realise what was occuring. Therefore, he wakes up next morning and is... quite surprised that this Ferrari of a woman is lying next to him.

And then things become strange as hell.

After those events, Vincent has nightmares every night. In his nightmares, he... well, see for yourself:

I think every young man on this planet can identify with Vincent... #TODOSCONVINCENT

He finds himself forced to climb up mountains of blocks (which is the actual gameplay part), escaping from several monster that represent his inner anxieties (for example, one of them is his girlfriend Katherine in a bridal dress) always being his objective to reach the top and gain access to an enigmatic tower. There he meets other men who have been completely transformed into sheep. Seemingly Vincent is not the only one suffering from those special nightmares. And then there are those news on TV about men dying from mysterious conditions...

Well, basically the game is about Vincent's inner conflict about what he should do, about he wants to do and all the "salseo" involved. If I caught your attention with this little introduction to the story, give it a chance and look for it on Youtube! It'll be worth it, I swear! As for the ladies reading this post... I'm sure experiencing the story from Vincent's point of view will give you a nice insight into the psychology of a man ;)

I already hear some female voices saying "What? Men have a psychology on their own? I thought they were only interested in sex."

One of my favourite features in games in general are different possible endings. Every time Vincent reaches the top of the block mountain he has to go to some kind of confessional box and there, a strange female voice, appearingly coming from nowhere, speaks to him. Of course Vincent has to answer a question. A moral question. Based on the answer the player gives, Vincent's "karma level" increases or decreases. And depending on his karma level, the story will continue one way or the other. I love these little mind games! This game has it all: an interesting story, beautiful anime-like cutscenes, an extremely realistic and likeable protagonist, a hot girl, the player's interaction taking influence on the events... I love it!

To conclude this post, I thought it would be funny to post some of the possible questions that the players have to answer throughout the game. I invite you to take a minute and think about your own responses. Some of the questions are rather difficult to answer and sometimes you will prefer to say "it depends on...", but try to decide on one single answer. I'll also include my own answers in the spoiler tag, so if you click on the "Show/Hide" button you can read my responses. Try to guess my own answers before reading them! If you have time, I'd like you to post your responses in the comments and tell me about your thoughts regarding this post in general and my answers. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I ACTUALLY ASK FOR COMMENTS SO PLEEEEAAASE T_T

Naaah, I'm not forcing you, don't worry.

Here are the questions:

• 1. Does life begin or end at marriage?  
• A: It begins 
• B: It ends.
• 2. Do you prefer to stand out from the crowd or fit in?  
• A: Fit in. 
• B: Stand out 
• 3. Are you a pervert?  
• A: I don't think so.
• B: No use denying it.
• 4. Who would be responsible if you cheated? 
• A: It'd be my fault.
• B: The person I cheat with.
• 5. Could you ever be paid enough to go nude in public?  
• A: Never!
• B: How much are we talking about?
• 6. What's your take on praying mantis mating habits? (in case you don't know... a praying mantis is an insect species; the female ones devour their partner after the sexual act)
• A: It makes me nauseous.
• B: Whatever.
• 7. Do you like children? 
• A: Love 'em
• B: Ugh!
• 8. If you get a call from someone you hate, do you...  
• A: Answer it.
• B: Straight to voicemail.
• 9. Your lover is cheating on you. Do you...?
• A: Break up with them.
• B: Make them end it.
• 10. What do you do if you doubt your lover?  
• A: Reaffirm my trust.
• B: Talk to them.
• 11. What would you do if your significant other fell in love with someone else? 
• A: I'd let her go.
• B: Cling to what's mine!
• 12. Is it acceptable to marry for money or power?  
• A: Yes.
• B: No.
• 13. Would you date someone who was already married? 
• A: All's fair in love and war.
• B: I don't cheat.
• 14. If you got reincarnated, would you want to be human?  
• A: I love being human!
• B: It doesn't matter.
• 15. Are you prepared to risk your life to get back together with a former lover?
• A: Of course!
• B: Maybe not everything...
• 16. Do you wish for a peaceful life? 
• A: Yes.
• B: No.
• 17. Do you wish for the excitement of chaos?
• A: Yes.
• B: No.
• 18. Do you have any lingering longing for excitement and chaos?
• A: Yes.
• B: No. 

  My answers:

1. A
2. B
3. B
4. A
5. B
6. A
7. A
8. B
9. A
10. B
11. A
12. A
13. B
14. A
15. B
16. A
17. A
18. A

Earthbound

Previously on AMC's Breaki... A crazy German's blog:

Memo to myself; potential blog posts:

- Codeword: Itoi

- Codeword: Meckern

- Codeword: RE

- Codeword: Bad
- Codeword: Aftermath

I wrote this last year.. just imagine. So many things have happened during the last months. It seems such a long time ago... *dramatic music starts playing*

And all that time has left a mark on my soul: I just realised that half, well, technically 3 fifth parts of my potential blog posts were bullshit. Thank you 2013's Crazy German, you are a good-for-nothing. You know, when you want something to get done well, you have to do it yourself and not leave it to the version of yourself from several months ago. Or something like that... Err... Ad break please!

Err.. Have we already chosen a flight company for our trip to London? If not, I'd like to make a suggestion...

Welcome back to our blog evening ladies and gentlemen! Today I'd like to seize one of my ideas for new yoursay posts from last term... It shall be the codeword Itoi! 

I'm pretty sure you already know that Itoi was a hint for Earthbound. I mean, it's so obvious. Sorry, I don't have the blood of a thriller writer flowing through my veins.

But just in case you didn't reach that crystal clear conclusion, let's start from the very beginning.

What is Earthbound? 

a) A game

b) An anime

c) Some weird physics stuff

d) Stop it, you never talk about anything else than the previous three possibilities, stupid nerd -.-

Try to guess! Come on, give it a try!

Of course it's...

Yep, a game. But as you already know, I never talk about the typical 08/15 football simulator or war game where you have to kill people and the more the better and that's all. Instead, I prefer to tell you (and I should warn you, today we're going to get really psycho) about much more sophisticated stuff like this:

Yes, that IS ACTUALLY an in-game screenshot

Good. Either I've got your full attention now or I have lost you forever. Anyway, what is this crazy game about?

Earthbound is an RPG (role-playing game) from 1994 that originally came out for the SNES (Super Nintendo Entertainment System). In fact, Earthbound is the second installment of a trilogy called "Mother" in Japan, but neither the first nor the third game ever made their way out of Japan, which is quite a shame. I assure you, there are no games like Earthbound. It's like the hidden Don Quijote of the video game world. 

The protagonist, a thirteen-years-old boy by the name of Ness, wakes up one night because of the noise of a meteorite crash-landing at the mountainside near his house. He goes to investigate the place of the impact together with his neighbour Pokey. There he meets an alien realistically disguised as a bee, his/her/its/their name is, fittingly, Buzz-Buzz. Buzz-Buzz tells Ness about the future that awaits the world: Giygas achieves the control over the whole Universe. In fact, Buzz-Buzz has travelled through time, coming from that disgusting future to Ness' time in order to ask him to defeat Giygas while he's still vincible.

From that point onwards, it will be Ness' mission to travel from town to town, finding the so-called "Your Sanctuary locations" where he has to fight strong enemies in order to obtain mysterious melodies that remind him of his own infancy... Thereby Ness matures, discovers himself and prepares for the final fight that will determine the fate of the whole Universe. But he won't fight alone: during the journey he meets 3 other kids with special abilities that will support him on his adventure.

So, why is all that hogwash worth a blog post?

Two reasons:

1. It's hilarous.

2. It's magical.

Why hilarous? Well, the game is the definition of parody. It parodies everything. Beginning by ridiculing the video game genre of RPGs, going on with references to The Beatles and Mr. T until even laughing at something as big as the American culture and their society from the 80's and early 90's... It's marvelous. But, you know, 5 pictures are worth a 5000 words:

I follow that advice. Always.

That's an enemy I don't want to deal with in real life... I prefer dragons or monsters

One of my favourites. This game is so surreal... Dali would probably have enjoyed playing Earthbound

The answer is YES

Best Beatles reference ever made in mankind's history

And what about the magic? As I told you earlier, the adventure of Ness and his friends represents the process of growing up, going deep into yourself and find out who you are and what you really want. Actually, one of the locations you visit while playing is Ness' very consciousness. Literally. You go into his mind. It's fantastic.

And then... there's the end boss of the game: Giygas. In the final part, Ness and his friends have to travel through time, back to the past, so they have a chance to defeat Giygas. To do that, they need to transfer their souls into robot bodies, since organic material can't withstand the warp through time. Note the seriousness of a game that initially seemed rather childish. 

Eventually, they face Giygas. They face this:

This is Giygas. I guess there was a lot of incest in his family... look at those deformations...

This is the soundtrack that plays during the fight with Giygas... God, it sure sends chills up my spine listening to this alone at night with headphones..

What is Giygas supposed to be? Some people see a fetus... Some people see even... more things:

Seems legit...

I should as well mention Giygas' comments during the battle:

• "Ness..."
• "Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness..."
• "I...Feel...G..o..o..d..."
• "It Hurts...It Hurts..."
• "I'm so sad, Ness..."
• "Friends..."
• "You cannot grasp the true form of Giygas' attack!"
• "Go B..a..c..k"
• "I am...H...A...P...P...Y..."
• "It's not right, not right..."
• "Ness!" 

Shigesato Itoi (Heureka!) is the director of Earthbound. He explained that Giygas was based on a traumatic experience that he had as a child when he accidentally stepped into the wrong hall in a cinema witnessing something that he remembers as a raping scene in the movie that was being shown in that hall. In fact, there's no raping in that film and it seems Itoi, as a child, wasn't prepared for such an exposure of eroticism leading him to interpret the events on the screen as a violent act against the female character in the movie. Put simply, Itoi digested his own personal childhood trauma by creating Giygas.

Can you see how much soul this game has? It's impossible to grasp the true form of this game (you see what I did there...) without playing it. And I know you're not going to play it. But it's a gem. And if, one day, you discover video games as a new media to be exploited by you, play Earthbound. It's very deep.